You were there to wear it from the start.

Alright,

I'm so tired all the time. Physically and mentally. Yet I won't stop working because i know where i'm working to go. Speaking of. I'm getting nervous, there is no way i'm not going. I need to go, I've worked my actually ass off to go. but I'll be all the way over there alone. thats pretty scary, and I've become so antisocial and awkward. I just don't want to be around other people, its so hard to find time and stuff.

I have so much homework, and yet i write two lines, then think i need to listen to much then i go on tumblr and then i go on here... awkward.

Oh well. :P I'll get it done.

I miss so many people, but i have no urge to actually get up and see them. I'm pretty sure i could just stay in bed with two people all day and be happy. :)

Overall, life is great at the moment.

I honestly feel like a horrible person.

Not this time around.

I don't understand why I feel like this now. I hate feeling jealous. It seems the more that I begin to like him more, the more i think about you. I don't want to be with you. I don't need you. i don't even know. You are not who I want, or even can have at this moment in time. Stop occupying my brain, and let me move on.

Damn you Taylor Swift...

I feel like a slut.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

I do not need that guilt, i get enough for just being with you... I really wish this easier, its easier when i'm with you. Just when I talk about you I get all this crap, and looks from everyone, I knew my opinion on you was the same as everyones, but things change, and I didn't know you. And right now in this moment in time I do like her, and I do enjoy being around her. And I do understand why she's not coming. But I do not need extra shit right now.

I'm thinking if i just explode maybe things will be better?

I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing with my fuck tard of a life at the moment. Its actually making my stomach feel sick.

its getting late and i don't mind.

Two guys and Two girls.. sounds like a porn. Would make my life much more simplier.

You are one of the nicest, and best guys I have met. You're smart, kind, caring, loving, asks to hang out, plans things, texts me first, good looking, and have some funny moments. Someone I can acutally see myself with, yet i can't, and do not want this to go anywhere, but where it is. I really should explain that to you.

You, I am completly in love with you. When I'm around you and I fall in love with you everytime. You know just how to kiss me. you know how to make me laugh, and when you hold me I could be no where else in the world. I can see a far distance future with you. But you are not the person i should be with either. From what I have come to realize you need to grow up, stop smoking weed everyday, and you need to go somewhere with your life. But yet I can't stop myself from falling in love with you, and wanting to be with you.

You, I'm definitly attracted to you, which is a problem. I get slight jealously feelings from you, which is also a problem. You are a problem madame. But I feel as though I'm handling you pretty well.

You, I'm acutally really happy for you. you weren't happy then, and I see that now. Thank you for teaching me so much stuff about everything. I very much hope that we remain friends.

Grad was great, it still hasn't sunk in yet.. i do not know what I'm waiting for...

I do not know how to react, i do not know what to say, how to act. But I do not want what you are suggesting. But i do understand, and I will do anything for you in this time. You have done so much for me, its the least i can do for you. Maybe change is a good thing.

I feel as though i have a lot on my shoulders at the moment, and being tired from dry grad isn't helping. I do not like stress.

You're beautiful, and i wish that you will find someone that tickles you're fancy that you also tickle their fancy, and i hope this person is wonderful, and treats you like an angel, because you deserve no less, and i love you ever so dearly.

these worries are so heavy

If this was anyone else, I'd be gone so fast. I love you so much, but I fear you won't come through on what you say. I feel like I'm your number 2, Like once you get sick of her you'll move back to me. I hate thinking like that, and you said that wasn't the reason. But its just how I feel. I hate waiting, and I still hate this. Honestly i do not know what to do, its not like I can walk away, cause I have nothing to walk away from. This is stupid, how can you say you love me so much, yet you need to finish with her.